Q&A: Cheap and sneaky host family help?
by U-g-g-B-o-y-(-Photograph-World-Sense-)
Question by Magic: Cheap and sneaky host family help?
I’m an American au pair in a European country, and I’ve been here for about a month and a half now. Before coming here, I exchanged emails with my current host family for about three months, and I really had a good feeling about them. Now that I’m here, however, I’ve changed my mind.
They left out some MAJOR issues regarding their daughter (extreme behavior/developmental problems, goes to a doctor three times a week, has ‘tetanic crises’ at least once a day, etc), even when I specifically asked in the emails if the kids had any conditions/problems/issues; they said no.
My salary is 300 Euros a month (which is nothing), but when they pay me by month, it cheats me out of a full 225 euros when I add the entire year up; I would make more money if they paid me by week, and I’m sure they know this.
In their emails, I was told that I would be responsible for doing the kids’ laundry, but I do the parents/ laundry too! The last load I did, more than half belonged to the parents’.
Their kids are brats. They’re rude, they lie, they hit, they spit, and they through tantrums. Dad makes excuses constantly and Mom is never around. I caught the flu (FLU, not a cold!) from their kid last week, and today Dad says to me, “You should try smiling around the kids more, make them actually WANT to spend some time with you.” Like it’s my fault they don’t behave because I’m sick, tired, and maybe I don’t smile all the time because the kids are brats.
Anyway, I’m planning on leaving; I have an interview with another family this weekend, and I hope to leave as soon as possible. In the meantime, how should I handle my situation here? I don’t want to say anything until I’m sure I have a place elsewhere; on top of things, the parents want to talk to me, I’m sure to scold me about not smiling enough. What should I say?
Best answer:
Answer by Sweetpea
precisily what is a tetanic crisis?
Sounds awful. I would leave. No one smiles around their children all the time. My son is not a brat but I don’t smile constantly. You can’t
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
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about 1 year ago
How did you learn of being an au pair? I hope you used a company. You should tell them of your difficulties. You should also tell your parents or other adult in the States.
For the present–the nicer and calmer you are, the easier these last days will be.
about 1 year ago
First, on the payment schedule. You are adding it up by the week (12 months vs 52 weeks). But since you are getting paid by the month, you are NOT getting paid for 4 weeks, which would be 28 days, rather, you are getting paid for 30 or 31 days. You could possibly get more money from a weekly payment, but the parents would probably still take the total per year and then divide that by 52, which would still give the same amount, rather than dividing one month by 4, which would give a different amount. (basically, whether you are getting cheated or not depends on how you do the math. if you have a yearly salary of 12,000, its still going to be 12,000 whether you are paid 1000 per month, or whether you are paid 230 per week. You are taking the 1000 per month, dividing by 4 to get 250, then multiplying by 52 to get 13000 – pulled numbers from my head, but you see my point?)
BUT< that is something that you would have known before hand if you thought about it, so you cant blame the parents there.
Also, you can NOT blame the parents or kids for catching the flu. Anytime you are a caregiver for a child or live with a child you are at a higher risk for certain infections and viruses, like the flu. That is something you should have known upfront.
Now, as far as the behavior, that can probably be corrected, IF you have the patients and full discipline power. They are probably used to getting what they want when they throw a temper tantrum. And of course, giving them what they want enforces the temper tantrum. If you stop giving them what they want, regardless of how much of a fit they put on, they behavior will calm down after a few days to a couple weeks.